Q: In India which is mostly worshipped: God with form (Saguna Brahman) or God without form (Nirguna Brahman)? Do you think that to worship the Personal God is better than to worship the Formless God?

Certainly in India Saguna Brahman is worshipped more than Nirguna Brahman. But we must not forget that Saguna and Nirguna mean with qualities (guna) and without qualities, not just with form and without form–though that is included. As usual it is good to turn to the Bhagavad Gita in this matter. There we find this in the twelfth chapter:

“Arjuna said: The constantly steadfast who worship you with devotion, and those who worship the eternal Unmanifest–which of them has the better understanding of yoga?

The Holy Lord said: Those who are ever steadfast, who worship me, fixing their minds on me, endowed with supreme faith, I consider them to be the best versed in yoga.

But those who worship the Imperishable, the Undefinable, the Unmanifested, the Omnipresent (All-pervading), Inconceivable, Unchanging, Unmoving, the Constant–controlling all the senses, even-minded everywhere, happy in the welfare of all beings–they attain to me also.

Greater is the effort of those whose minds are set on the Unmanifest, for the Unmanifest as a goal is truly difficult for the embodied ones to reach.

But those who, renouncing all actions in me, intent on me as the highest [goal] worship me, meditating on me with single-minded Yoga–of those whose consciousness has entered into me, I am soon the deliverer from the ocean of mortal samsara. Keep your mind on me alone, causing your intellect to enter into me. Thenceforward, without doubt, you shall dwell in me” (12:1-8).

Are Lord Krishna and Rama both the Personal God?

Brahman is one, being both Saguna and Nirguna, and also beyond those distinctions. The same is true of every individual jiva as well. So whether we consider an avatara to be Brahman Itself or a perfectly liberated being, a siddha (as do the Sankhyas), the same applies.
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Q: I want to ask you if you know how one can communicate with family members that have passed on, and if you can offer any pointers in that direction.

It is very important–necessary, actually–that after a certain time in earthly incarnation the human being leaves the body and spends time in an astral world so the previous life experiences can be assimilated into the individual’s psyche.

And equally important is the rest and rejuvenation of the person’s astral and causal bodies so in the next life the person will be born in an appropriate body that will be charged with the life force needed for that life. This vital cycle must go on uninterruptedly after death for the sake of what we might call “reincarnational health.”

Two things interrupt and interfere with that needed preparation for a next life.

1. Being drawn back from the astral world into this world (though in an astral body) and focused on the past life in its various aspects that the evolving individual needs to leave behind and move forward and prepare for the next life. It is like a level in school. When it is over, it is over and should be moved beyond.
   Contact by the departed with loved ones after death can cause anguish at seeing their sorrow over the departed’s absence, and can even in time cause them to be earthbound and unable to go back into the astral world where they should be. As a result they can become wandering spirits, tormented by their inability to communicate with “the living.”
2. The desire to be with and able to communicate with embodied people can cause them to reincarnate too soon without have gotten the rest and regeneration their subtle bodies needed. As a result in the next life they will be weak in health and susceptible to many physical problems and ailments.

The way things are

The universe is a school which has rules, and those who ignore or break the rules run into difficulties. They are not punished, they just undergo the consequences of not following that which is designed for their continued welfare and happiness in whatever world they may be.

When loved ones leave this world they can experience real distress and mental anguish at the sorrow of those they leave behind, since for a short while they can feel the emotions of the mourners. Therefore those who love them should do their best not to sink into grief, but should rather think of the departed with love and appreciation and pray deeply for the progress of that dear one’s soul. Prayers for the departed are effective means to uplift and free the departed to prepare for the subsequent life.

There is nothing wrong in vividly remembering those who have left the earth plane, but always with love and blessing and prayers for their continued progress. Their absence is sad for us, but they have not died, just gone to another dimension. But a selfish desire to pull them back and be with them as before death is very harmful to us and them.

Freedom to grow is needed in every world in which we may be born and evolve. We must let them go. They belong to God and to the cosmos. Jerry Jampolsky was right: Love is Letting Go.

Further Reading:

• Birth and Death–The Great Illusions
• Understanding Death
• Awakened by Death

To an Indian friend who had to give up a deep personal attachment and was profoundly grieved.

Please accept my deepest sympathy and concern over your sorrow.

Peace and fulfillment are only to be found within, for God is there. However difficult it may be due to agitation of mind and heart, please meditate. Whatever mantra or Name of God you prefer, cling to its japa throughout the day and in meditation. This is your lifeline.

When intensely sad, it is often better to leave the house and walk about for a while. Visit temples and pray. Attend satsangs and participate in them. Do not be alone too much.

This is very simple advice, but I assure you it not only helps, but when followed unbrokenly it can heal and bring peace to the heart.

Further reading:

• Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted.
• Podcast: Why We Meditate and the Obstacles We Overcome
• The Simple Yoga Method of Removing Mental Pain and Depression