This following is a conversation that Paramhansa Yogananda had with “M,” otherwise known as Mahendranath Gupta, the author of the Gospel of Sri Ramakrishna. Yogananda devotes a chapter to “M,” who he addresses as Master Mahasaya, in Autobiography of a Yogi . This incident is taken from our newly posted article by Yogananda entitled “The Cosmic Mother”.
I remember a saint I used to visit in India, The first time I went to see him, I had to wait quietly, for he said, “I am talking to Divine Mother.”
He was so great and yet so gentle and childlike! His whole countenance shone with the love of the Divine Mother. When I was in his presence those vibrations were overwhelming. Whenever I saw him talking to Divine Mother I felt a thousand million times more Love in my heart than that which I felt for my earthly mother whom I dearly loved. The emotion is indescribable! I felt I could not exist another moment without my Divine Mother.
One day I went to this saint and said, “How is it you are communing with Divine Mother and I cannot? Please ask Her if She loves me. I must know. I do not feel the love of Divine Mother now. I must have Her. I must know if She loves me!”
I kept on insisting for a long time, until finally the saint said, “All right, I will ask Her.”
And you know, that night I had a great experience. I cherished it silently, within myself. One or two days afterward I went to the saint, and again I saw those upturned eyes wandering in the jungles of the Infinite. Such love you have never seen. In most missionaries who go to India to “save the heathen” I do not see that love of God. And I have seen many Hindu priests and teachers who did not reflect it. But I have also found some great masters in whose eyes I saw God twinkling. I used to bow down at the feet of this gracious saint because I knew Divine Mother was smiling in him.
So I asked, “What did Divine Mother say about me?”
He replied, “Naughty sir, naughty sir!”
“What did Divine Mother say?” I persisted. “You promised me. What did She say?”
Still he repeated only, “Naughty sir!”
I knew he could see through me and realized that I was hiding my thoughts in order to see if the experience I had had was real. And still I went on, “You promised me! Why is it you saints always mystify?”
Then he replied, “You come to test me? That is not right. Didn’t Divine Mother come to you the other night in the form of a most beautiful mother and say, ’Yogananda, I love you always?’”
I didn’t know what to do with myself. I was so filled with the nectar of joy. I had meditated all day long until I heard the answer, and when I went to this saint and heard those same words from him, what could I think? Only one thing: My Mother had truly responded!
When this saint used to talk he was just like a little child. In the glittering of those eyes was the shining of Divine Mother’s eyes. “Everyone that will seek Her will find Her,” he said, “but one has to make the effort.” Every time I think of him my whole soul becomes enraptured and my heart becomes so filled with love that I cannot speak. He told me my Master would come later on. Meanwhile, he gave me the devotional aspect of God–whereas my Master later gave me the wisdom aspect. That combination provided what I needed–the complete Father-Mother manifestation of God.